I happen to reside in Voi, not reside in the sense I live there but I constantly find myself in that locality.
The school lies between what you’d term the rock and the hard place, a desert on its right and the scorching sun on its left, while those of a seafaring bent might prefer the Devil and the deep blue sea. Nairobi was built for tough men, Voi was built for tough animals, with such an undecided weather you’d think you’ve been snatched from an excerpt from Kalonzo’s autobiography or Obama’s thought process; you probably heard it too right? That If Bush were pissed at you he’d bomb you, if Obama were pissed at you he’d change his position. In Libya he practiced his classic trait of pussyfootery and were it not for a jaw-droppingly hopeless pool of republican candidates he would, come next year, make a one-term president.
But back to Voi. Voi town is as small as well, a really small town. I couldn’t help thinking to myself were it in Mexico City there’d be countless gang drive-bys. Going to town was basically driving through one main street and you’d be done before you noticed it. You’ll probably have that wife-at-night-look of “ Already?” Driving through was like watching an episode of Sex and City; once you’ve started you wonder how the hell did I get myself in this seat?
I remember thinking to myself whatever wrong we did to the school Senate. The school’s location desperately pleads for a maximum security state penitentiary, like Shimo la Tewa. Shimo la Tewa, in Mtwapa, which means blowhole in English, is, paradoxically, so close to civilization you could blow a hole through its perimeter wall and escape.
On my first day to school I sighted a camel on the way. The only institution worth being put in such atrocious climatic conditions is a mental institution, but Conjestina might not like that, and since I’m not good at self defense, I rest my case. It’s really difficult to like a town that you know no one, especially if like Voi, it’s a town that barely made it to the map because the cartographer had a small unfilled space.
Voi, centuries old, was a 17th century centre. Slave trade and long distance trading in hides and skin was so rampant it’s no wonder present day skin trade is not so frowned upon-this I couldn’t help noting, and pride doesn’t necessarily follow this statement.
With so many mad men a shopping trip to Voi seemed like a trip into the first ladies mind. Libya is not the only place with crazy people you see, it’s just harder to find them in government here. So much drugs get done here that now the number of agencies fighting drug abuse could surpass the number of users.
On my first trip to the astronomically more fertile Wundanyi i remarked at just how much untapped land is wasted. You wonder why Kenyans insist on staying in urban areas. Canada has more than 75 percent of its population living in urban areas so you’d probably think we have nothing to worry about right? Thing is the rest of Canada is predominantly dense forests with unbearable arctic climate and meteorologically unremarkable weather and wild animals. Northern Canada has average summer temperatures of 8 degrees Celsius.
My only ‘un-surprise’ was Equity. Trust the bank to be in every town not even worth the Merchant of Venice. It’s like the slut in Luthuli, exploiting the poor with short term pleasures while giving them long-term complications.
Being a tourist town that solely thrives on a tourist economy Voi should have been exempted from the repressive Mututho tentacles but Mututho was so intoxicated with success. When we came nightlife was unbearable but it’s now a stanza off of a lullaby. A jejune disappointment, kind of like what you get if you expect Wamalwa to win the elections.
Funny still haven’t gone to any of the Tsavos during the time, but Voi had potential and still remains so. Even the makers of Halo 3 the Xbox game perceived Voi to have galactic potential, and that’s why it’s accorded three major levels in the game, Tsavo highway, The Storm and Floodgate. The game, set in 2552, depicts Voi as a futuristic town with great industries, overlapping skyscrapers, and situated beside a manmade water inlet that get this, extends all the way from the Indian Ocean in Mombasa into Voi town.
But argh why dream gotta head off to ‘Jose’s’.
TheTaitans 